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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Maggie's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, January 9th, 2008
12:13 pm
What Do You Have To Say? - A Winter Memory
Describe a winter memory using all five senses.


Fish Camp, Green Meadows Outdoor School - just outside of Yosemite

On duty that night, I got the call to walk the chastened child back to his hiking group, who were on a night hike out in the meadow across Big Creek. From the warmth and light of the camp kitchen, where the child had been duly written up in the book of the week's transgressions, we walked together out into the crisp winter night. As the cold stung our cheeks, we walked, saying little, out onto the path along the frozen creek, listening to the sounds of the snow crunching pleasantly under our boots.

It was a clear night, and the stars were out in force. The milky way splashed across the sky from Cassiopeia to Orion in silent glory, like the frozen creek below us. We stopped a few times just to look up through the lacework of naked Alder and Willow that lined the creek and gaze at the universe in wonder. Across the bridge, looking toward the west and downstream, the Comet came into view - its movement, also a frozen waterfall, and looking like a Christmas Card.

On this night, a child is born. Yes.

Current Mood: contemplative
Monday, October 11th, 2004
9:12 pm
Thank you, Again
I was thinking, again, of how much Katelin gave me in my life, and it occurred to me that her final gift was the greatest of all...

Here's another poem, of sorts, at last:


Your Final Gift

You gave me so much in life
Made me think about things I wouldn’t have otherwise
Got me to look at myself more clearly
Woke me up, sometimes, when I was daydreaming
Inspired me and taught me and goaded me to do right
Led a life worthy of emulation
Freely shared deep thoughts and philosophy with me, even when I was young
Showed me the Beatles and Bob Dylan
Showed me how to live in beauty
Showed me how to live

But your best gift
Was your last

You showed me what kind of person I am
You showed me how easy it was for me to do the right thing
You showed me my own goodness
My own
No longer a mirror or imitation of yours

Thank you.

Thank you for your life.

Thank you for your death.

Thank you.

Current Mood: thoughtful
Friday, September 10th, 2004
11:57 am
Alaska Vacation
Alaska was magnificent!!

We were originally going to drive up the Al-Can Highway and take the ferry down the inside passage, but the ferry with a car is SOOoooo expensive, a cruise was cheaper!! And includes food! So we drove to Vancouver, took a cruise ship up the inside passage, took a train to Anchorage, rented an RV (the “smallest” one they had left – a 32 foot monster!) and explored Alaska for the next 11 days, then flew back to Vancouver and mosied home down the coast.

The cruise was amazing. The whole trip was wonderful, but the cruise – well, after one week, we both were just amazed and said that the cruise would have been enough! We felt very full of wonderful experiences at the end of it, but still ready and excited about our next phase.

The RV wasn’t as bad as you’d think – everyone has them up there and it makes sense – there’s really no motels anywhere except a few and far between places, but there are RV parks EVERY where – middle of nowhere, someone just clears an acre, puts in parking places, and calls it an RV park. That and drive-through espresso places!! EVERYwhere! Random places! Middle of nowhere, an handmade sign tacked to a tree on the side of the road – Drive-Through Espresso! Someone just put a little trailer building up on blocks in their front yard and called it a business... Unexpected funny local cultural stuff. But the scenery! The wildlife! OMG. We took almost 4,000 photos! It’s going to take a while to sort through them for a reasonable slide show! I did a lot of “drive-by shootings” - took shots out the window as we drove by a nice lake or view or mountain... Most are crap, of course, but the fun part is that some are actually really good!

Here’s a rough itinerary:
Cruise Ship:
Vancouver – Ketchikan: We went to Misty Fjords by tour boat and got dropped off in a fjord and picked up by a float plane for the return trip! Misty Fjords lived up to its name and was rainy and misty and beautiful with waterfalls everywhere coming down sheer granite cliffs into the sea - bald eagles sitting on logs at river mouths up gorgeous fjords - we stayed out on the deck of the boat in our gore-tex parkas almost the whole trip! This really felt like Alaska - THIS is why we came!

Juneau: we went to Mendenhall Lake, just below Mendenhall Glacier, and took a river raft across the beautiful lake and down the river (class 2-3). The weird part about that is the river is mostly in people's back yards! I think we were kind of expecting wild... it ~was~ beautiful and enjoyable, but odd to be seeing all these suburban looking houses on the riverbanks as we passed. The glacier and lake were lovely, though, the lake filled with fine sediment that our oars swirled up like cream in coffee - very silky and beautiful.

We then took the tram in town to the top of Mount Roberts, where we had fantastic views of the Linn Canal and Juneau, ate lunch, and got a close-up look at a bald eagle that had been rehabbed.

Our final Juneau excursion was an evening whale watch boat tour – where we saw tons of humpbacks feeding! They seemed to always be in groups - one group of three that was very close did a beautiful ballet-like sounding dive, 1,2,3... one after the other in perfect graceful timing those big flukes would arch up in the air and slide beneath the surface. Lovely.

Next stop, Skagway. We took a tour over White Pass (beautiful!!) into the Yukon ("Canada's True North") for a “paddle and saddle” adventure (sounds kinky, huh?!) and we canoed on Spirit Lake with a beaver who was swimming around constructing a new lodge, and then went on a horseback ride. Devin and I "won" the canoeing tourist competition... the other people didn't know there was a competition, but at the end the wind picked up and we were canoeing across the lake and we finally had gotten our rhythm - the first two canoes in were the guides, and we were next - the winners for the tourist class! Go us!! he he. The canoe was the closest Devin and I have ever come to getting mad at each other, but we finally worked out paddling and steering and got pretty good at it! The horseback ride was interesting - Devin had a beautiful silvery dapple grey horse named Spirit. He got up him with stairs and help, and Spirit even did a little gallop up a hill and Devin stayed on! I felt really comfortable back on a horse, once I got up... how did I used to do that so easily?! Sheesh.

Next day: Glacier Bay: we had a full day of “scenic cruising” in Glacier Bay – we picked up a Park Ranger on a boat- 3 rangers actually – and they provided programs in info about the glaciers, wildlife, geology, etc. of the area. The glaciers were magnificent. We stayed out on deck the entire day! Almost didn’t eat lunch! (finally tore ourselves away around 2:30). It was a great day. A really really great day! We had such great luck with weather! The day before Misty Fjords they had had a drought, and there had been no waterfalls! The day we were there, waterfalls were everywhere! And Glacier bay was perfect - warm actually! But with enough clouds to add interest to the sky... a really lovely day.

Our last day on the ship was College Fjord and another day of scenic cruising, and more and even bigger glaciers! Harvard Glacier is 3 miles wide where it enters the ocean! Wow! Tons of sea otters, seals, sea lions, Dall’s porpoise, and we started the day by seeing a humpback whale breach right off the bow!

We ended the cruise in Seward, where we got off the ship and got on a train to Anchorage here, where we rented our land yacht.

RV: Anchorage to Denali - wow – saw the “big four”: Grizzly, Dall Sheep, Caribou, and Moose, and as an added bonus, a Gyrfalcon! – but the scenery – vast and amazing. McKinley is a sight to behold... Truly the Great One as the name Denali means – when we first saw it, we were looking at a mountain range of huge, rugged, snowy peaks with clouds over them... When we noticed something – OMG that’s the top of McKinley! Sticking up ABOVE the clouds FAR overhead of the mountains we were looking at. Really impressive!

Then over Denali “Highway” (gravel road through mostly tundra environment – tree line is 2700 feet up there!) Denali Highway has the second highest pass in Alaska at 3,000-something feet. Saw Tundra Swans, no, Trumpeter Swans on some kettle lakes there. Amazing Glacial topography, gorgeous open scenery! Crossed the Susitna River – HUGE! Spent the night in the middle of nowhere with a view to die for...

Woke up with a flat tire – no big deal! Thank god I’m with Devin!! It was the easiest, least stressful flat tire experience I’ve ever had! Well, we had passed the only settlement on the entire 150 miles of this highway only a few miles before we camped across the river and up on a bluff, and the tire was one of the rear dual tires, so we drove back at about 10 mph to “Gracious House” which lives up to its name. They fixed our tire no problem and didn’t charge an arm and a leg, either!

When we got out on the highway, we hit smoke from the many fires that were burning up near Tok and Chicken, so we booked south, stayed in a BLM campground when we got too tired to go on, then kept going all the way over the beautiful Richardson Highway to Valdez.

Valdez is the end of the Alaska Pipeline, and our tour guide on the Yukon Paddle and Saddle from Skagway had recommended we take the Richardson Highway to Valdez for scenery, but didn’t like Valdez – he said that being the end of the pipeline was about the only thing to recommend it. But we really liked Valdez! It was not a tourist town like Skagway, which was also beautiful, and really small, but most of the shops on the quaint main street were obviously catering to cruise ship tourists. But Valdez was a major fishing town, and had both commercial and charter fishing going on full blast. So there were a ton of tourists, but it didn’t feel touristy in the same way - I’m guessing most were from other parts of Alaska down to catch their halibut for freezing for the winter, or the salmon!

Wow, the salmon! There was a viewing platform right out of town on a creek where they were spawning – the water was just boiling with “Humpies”! The Humpback (aka Pink) and Silvers were running. Alaska has 5 types of salmon, each with 2 names! You can remember then on your hand: Pink is your pinkie, Silver is your ring finger, King is your middle finger, Sockeye is your pointer (don’t poke someone in the eye!) and Chum is your thumb! I can never remember all the names, though. I remember Pink is also Humpy, and King is also Chinook, and I think Sockeye is also Red (cause your eye gets red when you poke it...) but I don’t remember the other names for Silver and Chum.

One thing that impressed me about Valdez, and Seward, and Alaska in general, is how wildness and industry could easily co-exist side by side. Across the inlet from the tow of Valdez were tanks and pipes where the tankers came in to fill up on oil from the pipeline. Right across from this vital fishing economy. That oil spill was probably awful for everyone up here, because the marine ecosystem is SO alive and full and it would affect everyone’s livelihood. But for the most part, it co-exists just fine. Healthy forests, salmon runs, kelp beds, halibut, sea otters, orcas, seals and sea lions, and happy humpbacks gorging on fish for their long Hawaiian mating fast... And it’s all happening right in town, practically! I think it’s a good model – we can have people and industry along side of wild nature. But when there gets to be way too many of us, there goes the nature. Alaska really isn’t like the rest of the US. There’s way more wildlife than people here – WAY more. And the vastness of the landscape is awe-inspiring and mind-boggling – it just goes on and on. Where we may have a few parks with this kind of landscape, they have borders. Up in Alaska, it’s the towns that have borders. I like it.

We drove back over the Glenn Highway, which is supposed to be really scenic, but we couldn’t see it because the smoke was so heavy, back to Anchorage (I took a photo of the Matanuska Glacier viewpoint – the Glacier is really close to the highway, and you could only see the telescopes and nothing behind them. That’s okay, we had stopped at the Worthington Glacier on the way to Valdez - really cool.)

One thing that was interesting is the “Drunken Forest” - all the black spruce that grow all crazy – they are thin little fuzzy sticks of trees, all deformed looking, and they lean every which way when they are growing over permafrost! And it goes on for miles and miles and miles and miles... Forests made to burn. No wonder there was smoke.

Devin described Alaska’s highways as being of two main types: Wilderness and Rural. Through the wilderness, there is nothing, no settlements, just the road through beautiful scenery, no side roads going out in it... And the rural parts are interesting. Usually a little lower in elevation, so not in tundra areas, but black spruce, and also mixed white spruce, aspen and birch, and lower down, mostly aspen and birch. Lovely forest. Still miles of no settlements, but the occasional side road – dirt, gravel, sometimes an airstrip in view, or you go by a lake and there’s a float plane on it parked behind someone’s cabin. Alaska has the largest percentage of pilot’s licenses! It makes a lot of sense out there. Along the coast, and up the big rivers, it seems everyone has a float plane! They are very common.

Another interesting aspect of the rural highways are what we called the “ATV Lanes” - there always seemed to be a dirt track paralleling the highway, and we would see people riding ATVs on it. They use them for getting around, for hunting, and for fun. I’m guessing those might be the snowmobile lanes in the winter!

At Anchorage, we stayed in our favorite RV park, the Native-Owned Anchorage RV Park. Very pretty, in Aspen and Birch forests, with moose wandering around... And full hook ups and wireless internet access!! We found the Native-owned operations up there to be the nicest – the tramway in Juneau was Native owned and operated. We found out later that the Kantishna Roadhouse, which we didn’t go to, in Denali is Native Owned – it is WAY in on the road, accessible by their busses only. I would like to go there sometime.

Then we heading down to the Kenai Peninsula – As we went around Turnagain Arm (amazing tidal changes – there is a huge tidal bore there – 25 foot tides, four times a day, stronger coming in than going out, 12 foot waves happen with the tide change! People windsurf on them! It’s a huge mudflat at times, with very dangerous mud that acts like both a liquid and a solid – when you slap it, it seems solid, but if you walked on it you would sink, and if you struggle, it will act like a solid and trap you until the tide comes in and drowns you – scary!) As we went around this amazing stretch of inlet, where we looked for but didn’t see Beluga Whales (commonly sighted there, sometimes stranded on the mud, but swim out with the next tide) we saw Dall Sheep (the only bighorn sheep that are all white!) right along the highway on the cliffs!! They were really close!! There was a mother and kid, too! That was cool.

That day we went all the way to Homer so we could work our way back. Everyone in Alaska likes Homer – we hated it! It has this spit that goes way out in the ocean and is covered with campers and feels like southern California! Lots of touristy little souvenir shacks and charter places – it is another huge fishing town, but not as scenic as Valdez, which is in a Fjord surrounded by huge mountains. Homer is at the tip of the Kenai Peninsula.

We didn’t stay, but turned around and headed back up the Kenai where we found Anchor River – beautiful river mouth, beach, lovely marsh and estuary. Tiny RV park on the bluff with a great view. Watched the sunset blood red over the Cook Range – I think that’s what it was – it was hazy, not smoky, but I think just that marine haze, so we couldn’t see Mount Redoubt and the other massive active volcanoes across the Cook Inlet from us, only their silhouettes as the sun set behind them. But it was lovely there. People were camped on the beach and salmon fishing in the mouth of the river – we saw one guy ~dragging~ this huge salmon he had caught! Too heavy to hold up, too big not to drag! Monster fish.

From there we drove back up the Kenai, checked out the town of Kenai (kind of a pit) and went on through the Cooper’s Landing area along the Kenai River, which is ~BEAUtiful~! It’s that aqua-blue color that glacier fed rivers sometimes get... Saw a Loon on the river. I’m not mentioning all the bald eagles we saw – they were fairly common and easy to see with the big white head!

We ended up back in Seward, which we hadn’t seen after the cruise because our train left at 6am or something like that. We liked Seward a lot. We went on another tour boat –all day to the Kenai Fjords, with a park ranger as tour guide and he was excellent. This was a great grand finale for our trip! It was spectacular and beautiful all day, but the highlights were:

Floating silently in a bay where dozens of Orcas were feeding – we turned off the motor and were quiet and we could hear them breathing as they surfaced and dove... One breached right off the bow of the ship – a huge gasp of awe from the silent crowd on the boat! It almost brings tears to my eyes thinking of it – being in an ecosystem so incredibly full of life. But there’s more!

Floating in front of yet another tidewater glacier (we saw so many of these, but certainly didn’t get tired of it!) listening to the “white thunder” as it cracked and moved, small avalanches, big chunks calving into the sea...

The Chiswell Islands – this could be my favorite part of the whole trip!! These are a wildlife sanctuary, and a huge crossroads for all kinds of marine life! PUFFINS!! Both Tufted Puffins and Horned Puffins!! They nest here – they feed here on the abundant fish – they get so fat they can’t take off!!! The place was crawling with Puffins!! And Murres!!! Standing on ledges where they were nesting, like little penguins! Diving and flying underwater... A humpback whale was surge feeding between us and an island, then breached – the closest breach yet! Sea otters, seals, sea lions, orcas, humpbacks, puffins, murres, kittiwakes... Wow. It was incredible. I don’t think I have ever been anywhere that felt so completely abundant with life!!! And it is, in our terms, “in the middle of nowhere.” But for wildlife, it is a major metropolis – really and truly a wonderful place.

From there we headed back to Anchorage, camped one last time at our favorite RV park, and turned in the RV the next day, headed to the airport and flew to Vancouver.

We stayed in Vancouver that night and really liked it a lot! The next night we visited a friend in Seattle, where we pigged out at a fancy restaurant with her, then headed down the coast. We were ready to be home by the time we got to California! What a trip!!

And Devin and I are more in love than ever – it really was like one big long honeymoon – the first of many, I hope!
Thursday, September 9th, 2004
12:00 pm
Fresh Start on LiveJournal
It's been over a year since my last Journal entry - I started using LiveJournal as a place to put my poetry - I was writing a lot during a difficult time in my life: My sister Katelin died of a brain tumor (metastatic from breast cancer) in August of 2002, I was diagnosed with breast cancer in December 2002, I had 2 surgeries in January 2003, I ended my 10 year relationship in January 2003, I started internet dating some time after that, I underwent radiation in May or June (or both) of 2003 - so it was a rough time. Oh, my house was also put on the market that summer. Poetry was a great source of release and I seemed to have a very active muse, especially during radiation while I was driving up and down the mountain every day, going through that transition between nature and sprawl. Another source of angst, and therefore poetry, was my internet dating experience with one guy in particular. We exchanged over 2500 emails - long, involved, thoughtful, deep emails - in a few months time. He wasn't ready for a relationship, though, and was giving some very mixed messages, which was confusing and very difficult in a very difficult time in my life.

Things have gotten much better since then! I decided to look for a house to buy, which was empowering in itself, and even though I didn't buy a house, they took the house I have been living in off the market, so I'm still here. I like this house, so that's great. I am cancer free and healed and doing well in that department. And best of all, I met Devin, a wonderful, SANE, positive, happy, normal, loving, giving, perfect-for-me man and we have been seeing each other blissfully for over a year now!

The interesting thing is, I haven't written any poetry since dating Devin! You know what, though? I don't mind. It seems like a worthy trade to me - my muse for a healthy, happy relationship, which is a source of constant joy and comfort.

We spent a month together in Alaska in August, and are more in love than ever. Some details of the trip follow.

I think from now on, I'll use LiveJournal as a trip log - since we plan to take many more vacations together. It is a log of my journeys, both physical and spiritual, now.

Enjoy!

Current Mood: content
Sunday, July 20th, 2003
12:38 pm
Desert
Desert

You will not fit
Into any neat boxes
For me to seal
And label
And be done with you

You are not
“one of those”

You
Touched my soul
Deeply
More deeply
Than it had been touched
Before

Then
You
Recoiled
In
Fear

You filled my life
With words
And ideas
And poetry

And left…

I feel
So empty

My well feels dry
No more poems
Come bubbling up

Just sand
And dust
And
This immense
Sadness
Saturday, July 12th, 2003
12:44 am
Broken Bird Revisited
Broken Bird Revisited

I release you
And I want
Nothing more
Than to watch you
Soar

Disappear
Into a tiny speck
In the cloudless
Blue

Feather
Of your memory
Rests lightly
In my unburdened
Heart

It was a gift
And I thank you
And now
I set you
Free

Current Mood: release
Wednesday, June 18th, 2003
12:45 pm
Desire
I have this irrational and romantic view of love,
This sense that ~my~ love is
Powerful
Healing
Transformative
And, well,
It ~is~...

But only for me.

What I want to be true
Is that it can heal and transform
Others
Who need and want it
That by fully accepting the gift of my love
You will become whole
You will find peace
You will lose your pain
You will lose your fear
You will find, once again, your own love
For life
For adventure
For love
And...

For me

I want that to be true so badly.
It ~feels~ true
My love ~feels~ that powerful
And beautiful
And healing
And transformative

It does.
Can't you feel it too?

Current Mood: thoughtful
12:40 pm
Chrysalis
Chrysalis

I wonder if
The changes
Hurt
For the butterfly
That is
Becoming

Caterpillar body
Dissolves
And reforms
Into delicate
Antennae
Legs
Head
Thorax
Abdomen
And
Graceful
Beautiful
Yet powerful
Wings

Where were all these parts
In the body of
The caterpillar you were?

Does it hurt to grow wings?

Will you miss
Your crawling self
When you can fly?

How hard is it
To break out
Of the safety and confines
Of your chrysalis?

How do you know when you are ready?
Thursday, June 12th, 2003
11:30 pm
Katelin
You were
So vibrant
So joyful
So full of life

You knew
So much
Had so much to teach

You lived
Vibrantly
Joyously
Knowingly

“Life is delicious,
Take big bites”
Is on your gravestone
Now

Ashes
Is all you are now
Cold
Grey
Silent
Ashes


You were never silent in life
Your words bubbled over
Like water from a spring
Your ideas pouring forth
Your advice
Your lessons
Your enthusiasm
Your love.

You were in love
With life

First a tumor
In your breast
You, the RN, thought you could beat it
You don’t get sick
You are healthy
But the tumor was large
And fast growing

Still,
Even without chemo
You beat it for five years

But you fell out of love with life
You lost your joy
Your lessons seemed finished
Your children moved out and married well
Your lover dead
Your father dead
Your mother losing ground
Career no longer fulfilling
Living alone

We thought you were depressed
Tried to talk you into Prozac

But the cancer had returned:
Your brain was eaten with tumors
And your liver
And your bones
And your lymph
And your lungs

Life
Seemed to take big bites
Out of you
In the end

I miss your smile
Your sparkle
Your friendship
Yes, even your advice I never asked for

I miss you so much.
Wednesday, June 11th, 2003
12:58 am
This Spring in Lone Pine Canyon
Lone Pine Canyon

Aflame at the bottom in white candles of Yucca
And Chemise gilded in pale yellow

While the top is ablaze with Flannelbush,
Fremont's flame, shining with a thousand golden suns

And in between the moon and sun,

Yerba Santa, holy herb, cloaks herself in a white mantle
Chia sends up towers of purple multi-storied pungence
Scarlet Penstemon's fireworks burst in red
Wild Mustard dresses the roadside

Lupine, wolf plant, devours the soil while strengthening the earth
(much as the wolf devours the deer yet strengthens the herd)

Bush Poppy, with his seeds of forgetfulness,
Forgets to stop blooming and dreams for us still

Prince's Plume writes stories in the breeze
On the crinkled white paper poppies

This Spring's story is a good one
Monday, June 9th, 2003
1:16 pm
A Stone and A Feather
The weight
Of things unsaid
Can turn your heart
Into a stone

Crack it open
And let the sun
Make rainbows in your soul

Words
Can give your heart
Wings
11:24 am
Migrations
Migration

As I drive down Lone Pine Canyon this morning
I wish I could share this view with you--
Every day a new vista on the world,
A new insight.

Descending from my mountain heights
Through pines and
The golden flames of Flannelbush
In full glorious bloom,
Like a fire, reflecting the sun's warmth
In contrast to the bright blue sky

I see across the miles
The peaks of saints:
Gorgonio, Bernardino, Jacinto

And below,
A sea of foamy white
The fog from the Pacific
Lapping at the feet of the mountains

I think of you
Down below that sea
In your cottage and overgrown garden

Avocados dripping from your trees
In cool, green drops
Trumpet vines dangling damply
Droplets of dew and fog
Glistening wetly on
Fallen leaves, on vines, on grasses,
On nodding heads of sleepy flowers

We live in such different worlds,
You and I

You down in your dew-drenched garden
I in my mountains close to the sky

If I could fly to you
Like a bird
I would.
Monday, June 2nd, 2003
11:09 am
Poem I really like (not mine--by Steve Toth)
AS REAL AS LIFE

If the sun is always shining
why doesn't the moon stay full?
If I'm at one with the universe
why do I keep getting bills?
Who do you work for?
Sometimes I work
for the power
that's flowing in a flower
& sometimes I work
just to make love visible
Am I as real as life is
or am I covering my tracks
before I've gone anywhere?
Most people would be too smart
to admit to anything in public.
But not me

Do you think you can tear me open
& read what's inside like a letter?
Do you think you can
find your place in a book?
Are questions any closer
to the truth than answers?
So many senses here to keep track of
A few billion cells
each with a life of its own
& a cloud of dust
that has learned how to read
When I walk coyotes follow at a distance
They can smell a wounded animal
In the wild few die of old age

No one sees us as much
as they see the light
that bounces off our bodies
Every time we exhale
we're taking a chance
on the next breath being there
Let no love be lost between us
Let us be lost in love instead
I don't care if I end up with nothing
swallowed by silence
Some sailors fear sailing
off the edge of the world
Others seek it out
Ice teach me how to melt
Water show me how to flow
Flower teach me how to open
Tree show me how to grow


--Steve Toth
Sunday, June 1st, 2003
10:20 am
Broken Bird
I held you in my hands
Gently
Felt your heart beating
Felt your warmth
Loved you,
For that moment
That was a tiny eternity

I would teach you how to fly again
And set you free

I would

I will miss
your downy weight
and warmth
and stirring of soft feathers
and beating heart
in my cupped
yet open
palm

Current Mood: wistful and sad
Thursday, May 29th, 2003
6:13 pm
Spring Haiku
Like orange snowflakes
Falling ~up~ from the cracks
Ladybugs awake



Forest of white flame
Yuccas in Lone Pine Canyon
Our Lord's Candles shine
6:09 pm
Little Dragons
"Little Dragons"
You call the
Ladybug larvae
That you gently scoop
From the path to share

"Beautiful bits of life":
Insects and spiders,
and also these moments
of tenderness
for the small creatures
6:04 pm
The Drive Home
Driving home over/through the mountains, I leave the teeming metropolis, where I would drive on freeways filled with cars and trucks, brightly lit against the intrusion of stars, through cities and sprawl. Instead, I drive up into the dark mountains, and the city lights recede until they look like a sea of gems, a treasure visible through deep water that disappears when you get down to it, a mirage of beauty and worth. Along the sides of the road, close up and real, floral treasures of Scotch Broom bloom bright yellow, Monkeyflowers and Penstemon hang out of rock outcrops as the road winds higher, and the white flowers of the stars return to the sky. Only two or three other cars are on the road, so close to millions. Coming down on the desert side of the mountains, I see a pair of moonlit eyes on the moonless night, and turn my car across the road to see who they belong to: Wolf’s little cousin, grey fox, who stares and runs for cover from my car, so I turn it back across the road to its own lane and steer for home. Coming over Mount Emma Road, I see the lights of desert towns below, in the rain shadow of “my” mountain range. I wind my way home up the curvy mountain road past Valyermo and along the San Andreas Fault up past the sag pond of Jackson Lake and on up and up to the ski area, still brightly lit even though the snow is gone for the summer, then down the Angeles Crest, the ridge of angels, to my mountain town, and up to my house on the side of the canyon, where I am home again at last.
6:03 pm
Against the Pavement
Hawk on a rock
In a field
Pushing
Against the pavement

Surrounded by
Parking lots,
Shopping malls,
Business Parks,
Yellow Bulldozers
Tearing apart roots,
Pushing dirt and
Rocks
Out of the way
Of more progress.

Lone Hawk on a solitary rock
In a remaining field
Holds prey in yellow talons
Against the rock
And tears it apart.
Tuesday, May 27th, 2003
3:15 pm
Benediction ("Memorial" revised)
Desperation reflects off metal and glass
In the filtered glare

Bottleneck

Escapees pile up
In a snarl of cars and trucks and smog

Thick grey air
Caught also
In the pile up

Where the San Andreas
Splits the Ranges
Nine Million year old tectonic traffic jam
Of ancient rocks and sea floor sediments

When the "big one" comes
No one's leaving that way

To get to the blue skies
Out beyond
The upthrust crust
Of the real world

Look there -
Above this freeway of lost souls
Captive in cans of glass and metal,
On the hillside that is still wild,
See the points of light?

Our Lord's Candles offer
Blessings from the Earth
For those with eyes that can still see
Beyond this sprawl

Yucca,
Light a candle for their souls;
Yerba Santa,
Spread your sweet incense in the shimmering heat;
Bless this land
9:04 am
Memorial
Desperation reflects off metal and glass
In the filtered glare

Bottleneck

Escapees pile up
Snarl of cars and trucks

Thick grey air
Caught also
In the pile up

Where the San Andreas
Splits the Ranges
Nine Million year old traffic jam
Of ancient rocks and sea floor sediments

When the “big one” comes
No one’s leaving that way

To get to the blue skies
Out beyond
The upthrust crust
Of the real world

Look there –
Above this freeway of lost souls
Captive in cans of glass and metal,
On the hillside that is still wild,
See the points of light?

Our Lord’s Candles offer
Blessings from the Earth
For those with eyes that can still see
Beyond this sprawl

Yucca
Light a candle for their souls
Yerba Santa
Spread your sweet incense in the shimmering heat
Bless this land

Current Mood: thoughtful
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